


Space

by bokutoppai



Series: Haikyuu Rarepairs Week 2020 [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (we'll see what happens during this week), (yet), Comfort, Established Relationship, HQrarepairweek2020, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, dw im not killing anyone, update i killed someone oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:14:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23890675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bokutoppai/pseuds/bokutoppai
Summary: Sakusa was willing to push himself to get used to physical touch, one step at a time, without rushing. And Bokuto, despite being as affectionate as he is, never forced Kiyoomi more than needed. However, some days Sakusa felt overwhelmed and he needed some space, and that particular day his boyfriend just happened to have a bad timing.
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Series: Haikyuu Rarepairs Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1720471
Comments: 2
Kudos: 53





	Space

**Author's Note:**

> Rarepairs week - day 2 (space)

Sakusa loved his boyfriend. He loved his bright personality, his gorgeous smile, his ability to comfort people, sometimes even unknowingly. However he wasn’t very fond of the idea of physical touch. It wasn't the physical touch itself that disgusted him, however even holding hands was a challenge to him. He couldn’t stop thinking about the bacteria or the potential viruses that could be on someone’s skin, the thought alone made him feel awful. He was trying, however, to make an effort for Koutarou.  
Bokuto knew about Sakusa’s fears. He tried his best to understand and not to cross a line. He tried to give him as much space as he could, and sometimes Kiyoomi was the one to ask him to try holding his hand, something as simple as that. Of course, he’d make sure Koutarou’s hands would be cleaned properly, and because of Kiyoomi’s bluntness he’d whine dramatically - he’d comply, nevertheless.

He was still a little reluctant, but if Bokuto was making an effort to keep himself from touching him, he’d make an effort to get a little closer to him. Koutarou would chuckle and look at Sakusa crinkling his nose and curling his lips. That would cause him to snort, a grin flashing across his face. And when Kiyoomi, looking at him with a frown, called him a ”bastard”, he’d start laughing because he found his bluntness funny. That made Sakusa relax a little, sometimes he’d hide the smallest smiles away from Bokuto.  
Everything about these moments made him feel warm inside, but at the same time he couldn’t stop his mind from having bad thoughts.

One day in particular, his fears were having the best of him. Bokuto found him on the couch, hugging his legs close to his chest, and his body trembling slightly. He was feeling overwhelmed again, but now Koutarou was there. He could see him in those conditions, and he’d feel pitied for. The thought made him feel worse, and he tried to make himself smaller in his little space.

Bokuto was hesitant while he approached him, as if a wrong step would screw up everything. He carefully placed himself in front of him. He called Sakusa’s name with an uncharacteristically quiet voice, he crouched down and falteringly brought his hand close to Kiyoomi’s face. He tried to reassure him it was okay, he was clean and he wouldn’t harm him, but his actions were way too bold for Sakusa’s taste, especially when they were done while he was in such a vulnerable state.

He wanted Bokuto's comfort, but at the same time he wanted him to go away.  
Before his hand could touch him, he slapped it away.

«Don't touch me, give me some fucking space.»

His voice wasn't loud, but the irritation was lacing his voice, and it was noticeable enough to make Bokuto feel guilty for his actions.  
He backed away, but he still didn't want to leave Sakusa alone.  
He sat on the couch, putting a decent distance between themselves so Sakusa would have his own space.

The whole mess didn't help Kiyoomi at all. He didn't mean to snap at Bokuto.  
He looked at him, seeing how his eyebrows were furrowed, how he seemed he couldn't even look in his eyes.  
He tried to take deep breaths, but it seemed too hard in that moment.  
They sat in silence for a few minutes, none of them dared to talk.

Bokuto really wanted to apologize, all he wanted was to say something to make him feel better. But anytime he started saying something his voice would falter and he'd stop.  
Sakusa glanced at him again and saw him grabbing the couch's cushion and clenching his hand. He realized he really wanted to help him, and that made him feel worse.  
He shifted closer to him, hesitantly moving his hand towards Koutarou's.

Bokuto looked down at his hand, noticing how Kiyoomi’s pinky finger interlocked with his. It wasn’t too much, and it was enough for him to slowly calm down and not feel overwhelmed by the feeling of being touched.  
Sakusa hoped his boyfriend would understand that silent apology. The weight on the couch shifted, and he looked at Bokuto who had just let out a huge breath and smiled.  
Kiyoomi’s body started losing its stiff posture, he felt like he could breathe normally again.  
And slowly he felt again at peace with himself.  
He felt lucky to have Koutarou by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> can someone please teach me how to do titles? when i'll get the necessary braincells to think of one i'll come back and edit it.


End file.
